Live on Love

It's 6pm.

He wore a green short and an orange Netherlands jersey.Rambled from his room and headed to the beach.

They've been here,Kanamai, Kilifi for capacity building and training with one of the NGO's. He sat on the protective wall,that prevented the water from getting into the premises during high tides. 

The sight of the tides breezed,the fresh air was a super relaxer,the whirling sound of the tidal waters from a far thrilled.The view was just magnificent even from the sky as sun went down.It's at such a moment he wished he wasn't alone,he wished for a gentle touch and a hold of someone by the hand,oooh it could have been the best hangout,quietly watching with no words .Indescribable.Too bad he was still alone and to some extent lonely watching all this.

The thought of travelling back to Nairobi tonight sickened,he brushed it off.

'I need to vow with the waters of the life to lead,wished and will work for',a thought crossed.He punched his left palm with his right hand fist and affirmed several things about his life,'...so God help me,most importantly let your will be done',he concluded the affirmation and gently relaxed.He only thought of the most beautiful things in life & the people who smiled,talked courteously,had a nice heart,who never lied,who were apologetic,held no grudge,inspired others,loved their partners,...talk of all the lovely actions of people,he cherished them.

The lyrics of the song  'Mother how are you today' by Maywood,came to live of how a daughter wrote a letter to her mom.

Mother, how are you today?
Here is a note from your daughter.
With me everything is ok.
Mother, how are you today?
Mother, don't worry, I'm fine.
Promise to see you this summer.
This time there will be no delay.
Mother, how are you today?

I found the man of my dreams.
Next time you will get to know him.
Many things happened while I was away.
Mother, how are you today?

He was only left guessing how the daughter must have been excited to get a man of his dreams.

Before long he remembered the Whisky Lullaby-Brad Paisley, Wrong Road Again-Crystal Gayle, Second Violin-Burgatell, Winner Takes It All-Abba….but this time the characters were complaining of Love gone sour, separation & divorces and they were expressing their bitterness.

The latter thoughts were distractive, he wished to dismiss them but he needed a solution of why love turns sour and concluded it’s because people overlook the basic  and forget the founding criteria and ‘checklist’ which is 1^st Corinthians 13.

It was getting dark, he wished to have stayed longer but the 'Oxygen' coach had already been ignited. What was ringing and wished people used the same tune of Devouted to You-Everly Brothers, Vows Go Unbroken-Kenny Rodgers and Forever & Ever-Randy Travis.

‘What am I thinking, it’s early for me to harbor love thoughts, life is big and there are other things to think about other than the lovey doveys’, he paused.

‘If you get wrong on this, the ‘bigness’ of life becomes titchy, you've to get it right from the word go, otherwise one will experience hell on earth with the wrong person, your entire life’,a thought warned.

He smiled and waved goodbye to the ocean and whispered to it,'Some day I’ll come again, but I won’t be alone then.Cheerio'.

Who Is Your Friend?

                                                        Photo credit: Pinterest.
I listened to one Tom Makale,the CEO ,Unique Loos give his speech at (Business Entrepreneurship & Innovation ( BEI) conference at UoN,School of Business,I liked.He was drilling us to start thinking critically about life rather than the shadow perspective of life.

....One of the issues he brought out clearly are the people we need to connect ourselves with.We should connect with people who;
1.Are goal-oriented
This entails looking at how realistic and futuristic one is. Also looking at what they are doing now and assessing the course of their lives.They live a purpose driven life.Planning their lives carefully.

2.Bring the best in you
They are not jealous or dwell on the negative side of you but they show us we are equal top the task.They let our talents,abilities and skills sprout.Make us stand out

3.Support us
Not all the times things go well on our side.We need a shoulder to lean on and a helping hand.True connections always stand by our side in tough times.

4.Correct us.
When we go wrong,they don't just keep quiet or just take it lightly.They reprimand us in a gentle way.

5.Challenge us
If you are the best among the people close to you,there is a big reason to worry,you will never grow!
We should associate with people who are wise,adventurous and passionate of what they do.

6.Have Faith in God
If one doesn't believe in a super natural being,the creator of all.They are too full of themselves,that's danger in waiting keep them off your life.They should share the same value system with us.

Now,the  connections we have turn out to be our friends and as Rim John said:'We  are the average of the five people we spend most time with'.Very true,I don't see how one can join Barcelona and play long pass balls,reason being on average every player is doing the short tic-tac passes,total football.
Our network too becomes our net worth.

Love Was The Only Mistake.

They met in one of the most improbable places that can nurture emotional jitters.

But slowly they become close and close. I mean very close for one to call them friends was an understatement. They could feel their emotional indirect investment growing and the need for diversifying the portfolio of relating too was becoming eminent.

The dude paused,contemplated about the plans he had in  mind, the beauty and the dangers that lay ahead.His logic went like this;Bearing in mind I’m not looking for a lady to just have fun with but a life time partner,wants to settle in probably in the next five years, will I not be lying to commit?…He also had a spirit of adventure and loves to travel and as I know him, he can settle anywhere on this planet,settle with anyone as long as they share the same values system(but biased to Asians and Europeans).

The lady was irresistibly beautiful(physically,spiritually),socially okay,financially she has massive potential,mentally at her age she was good and looking for a  challenge.The only problem was  that emotionally she was ugly and needed plastic surgery or make up.

Whatever one can call it,Love/Infatuation/Lust is funny and confusing.The Lady was completely submerged into Museikuna’s way of life She loved with her all, felt accomplished,threatened how life is turning to be useless,’When I love it hurts,when I fail to love it hurts too’,she said.

Now the quagmire began, the two perceive love and care from  opposite direction.

One party is glad to have to have a sister and a friend while the other party is joyous to have a friend and a more than a friend.An equilibrium had to be reached.

It was a cool breezed afternoon,having been tired of their state they decided to work things out.It was a win-win situation,with no heart aches they decided to be best of friends without attaching or committing strings to each other.They are now free to make any decision pertaining their relationship life.

I wish them well and congratulate them.

At times we find ourselves in such a crisis-cross, maybe the people we want to be in our lives are not ready,are not interested with our request,are not sure if they really want us in their lives,are interested but interested more in others than us,have duo interests…and all manner of confusion.Kenny Rogers in his gambler song says:..You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run... knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep..

This demands wisdom and discernment there are life issues we should not fable around with.

Letter 4 to My Child; On Passion.

I reaped big after KCSE results were out.
With a chance to join campus I was more than jubilated.With so many uncertainty,fear of unknown and ignorance,the selection of course was a toll order for me.Being torn between Health,Business,Psychology and Engineering courses but somehow I found myself in Business.

I was glad because the concept of entrepreneurship has been a niche for my heart and the mention of  a hospital or sight of blood makes me sick,matters could have been worse if I was to work there though I could have adapted any way.But,I feel the forgone alternatives will in some way manifest themselves either in business,friends or life partner.

The best thing that happened to me is joining Campus.It's here that I've come to appreciate there are smarter guys than you,gathered confidence to face life,realized that majority are not always right, that one has to stand for what they believe is right,grown spiritually,..
I mean I heard,touched,saw,smelt,tasted,imagined all the good things of life with caution of course not to get myself in a ditch.

Son,I'm sure  by now you know what you want in life.I'm glad you realized your passions earlier than me,it will help you avoid lots of guess work.Pursue them to the end,the talent you have is a great tool of sustenance.There is no standard as to how you may live but I would advocate ascribe to the Biblical code it will make you avoid confusion

Learn from all the sources not only from your lecturers but also from the talks and seminars held in campus(I've attended over 95% of all the talks that happened here). Don't study for your exams like some of your friends gather knowledge that can push you to higher life heights(try get an Upper Division,it's safer there when all go haywire),network,visit places,get a mentor,have fun,be adventurous,take risks,listen more,...This is your most critical moment,I can guarantee,you will miss it.Elsewhere in my final year of studies I developed immense passion for writing,entrepreneurship,acting,adventuring,IT..I guess you can now trace where your dad is like so.

Finally Son,your life has taken off at your age,I may not have much control of the choices you make.I apologize if I failed you as a Dad but learn from my mistakes.Just make me proud .I know later in life you will be a Dad like me,give the best to your Son too,I'll be a happy grandpa.
I'll always love you,never let your mum cry over you at any single moment.Give her peace.

Go live your life son Daddy loves you.

Dunga Thoughts:I Appreciate Your Beauty,but...

Earphones are on.I'm scrolling through the playlist to get a song that suits the mood.I settle on Instrumentals and I start with one of my favourite,Vangelis-Chariots of Fire followed by Guantenamera, Friends of Wind by Demis Roussos, Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika(South African National Anthem).In the list too are songs by Casting Crowns,Reuben Kigame and Dustin Kenstrue.I press play and let the beats and lyrics start to sink.

It's 11 a.m,it's an awkward time to be seated on a Dunga,this are campus benches outside hostels,also known as Jobless Corner as one is seen to be 'lazy'.For me dunga should be referred as an 'eagles eye zone',when alone one can get into deep thoughts together with another,almost similar site,the centre of rugby's pitch.They gave a space  to relax and thinking through life in 3D.I'm just from Project Management class and lecturer's remarks are still live,'...the world is hostile,corruption is massive and played smart the only ones we hear in public is where there are differences when they are sharing out...Nobody thinks about you,they only want to use you to accomplish they selfish life goals...'

With only two months left to be through with studies,the thoughts of where to reside,business,job recruitment s,MRP pressure coupled with the hard facts of the end of an ideal life offered in campus,the laughter,the friendliness are tough pills to come to terms with.

...Phew!,my thoughts are diverted when some ladies pass by,talk of beauty and looks,Wa!(NB;I'm appreciating credit where is due,ha).They are blessed as we like to put it and this reminded me of how this campus is endowed with beauty and Nairobi at large and the World at whole any way.But then,human beings are meant to be with one and there is only one for you,why make a hasty choice?.

When we were in class 8 probably we were 'seeing potentials'  but we smiled or even got caned for our ignorance.It re-occurred in high school we went out for conferences and contests.The same is happening in campus where one could be spotting in readiness for 'transfer window'.How sure are we once we have left this place, 'out there' there will be no Princesses and Princes.

Life is transitions and seasons.The perception we have now towards what's good for us now might change with time but since you had committed,there is not much to do apart from holding on.Let's not make a decision that we only vumilia instead of kujivunia 10/20/50yrs from now.It's a 'roko' mentality(As XN Iraki puts it ) to think the Queen or King can only be found in your campus,county or even country.

For those of who are lucky and have made up their minds I salute them.For those who have 'ish ish',take you time.I bet May's rent and bills will not be paid with hugs and kisses.

(....here comes my friends and the story and thoughts will  change to how Manchester is useless,how Arsenal is no longer the weapon,how Liverpool has been walking alone,...Champions League,Brazil world Cup...)
I should catch up with you later.Get yourself a sit at the nearest Dunga and reflect.

Letter 3 to My Child; On Choices

When I joined Form 1,it was a completely new world for me.Pressure was mounting from all over,hormones were driving me crazy..Got to learn some of this 'skills' as the peers were putting it.
The teachers and parents seemed to be in the old generation and true times have changed but wrong  remained to be wrong no matter how we try to pomp or pimp it.
It wasn't a safe ride especially in my final year where things were almost getting out of hand.

With lots of confusion there are decisions I made that changed my course of life:

-Listening more to teachers and less of my peers.
I didn't have to re invent the wheel to know that something is wrong,especially with moral matters I just tore the line.

-Having a close  friend whom you can share with.
Nguma is the one,I recall us walking home one day and we were vowing by the tarmac road,that we have to go the university regardless of what may come our way.We assisted each other mostly in academics,it's no wonder even after results you could have told the two us had stood out.

-Basing all my actions and beliefs from the bible.If it said don't,I didn't.

-Avoid/Relate with the opposite sex cautiously.
Emotions are running hot they will disorient you.

Son,this will not only help you in school even life after school the principles still apply.
Don't forget the earlier lessons I taught you some years back.

Letter 2 to My Child; On Education

Son,I thank God for the progress you are making,Just the other day you were a toddler!
It's time for you to learn the world while your mum and dad are absent,it's time for school.
I know you will initially hate us for this,but,as time goes by you will appreciate.
This takes me back of the first day I was 'disposed' to an environment that meant separation from my Mama,I cried and tried running away from school to go back to home,any time I did this,I'd be slapped and taken back.
Not that we hate you but we want the best for you.

School is where men are made from boys.Things will change here, you will meet a teacher who is not like your mum,she will beat you up once you make mistakes.You will meet other boys and girls who are not like your cousins,they will be malicious,they will act weirdly,others will laugh at you because of funny reasons but you know what Daddy loves you,the rest doesn't matter.

The education system in this country is not the best but I want you to be ahead of the pack by making you think without the box.Read for the exams and get good grades they will open doors to higher levels of education and exposure but  never forsake the power of your talents.Our brains are wired to acquire massive information,solve problems,do everything that you have always admired around...unfortunately we only use 10% of it!I want you to explore and live your life son...
The Music you listen,the tablet you use,the movies you watch,the vehicle you see,the soccer you watch,the speeches you listen......are all as a result of following a certain passion.Identify it,tell me and we will nurture it.

Son all we want you to get from us is happiness and peace of mind,you don't have to exist in life,live it to the fullest not forgetting our Creator.

Letter 1 to My Child; On Your Mum

Child,
When I was a young boy,before teenage,there were things I missed doing and enjoying,but as a statement goes,what you don't know doesn't hurt you.I  didn't know what I missed until I got a chance to be a little bit older  and realized,"That must have been a fun and adventurous activity".

Well,I enjoyed the freedom of doing anything I wanted to do as long as I wasn't going to bring trouble to the parents.I liked this.Unfortunately there wasn't exposure to do much,as I can see now and long for,if I had a chance.I blame no one for this,but I have resolved to give the best to you.

It's a pity to see how many rushed into starting families and they were not able to sustain them.
Their end up causing pains to innocent children via divorce,separations and all manner of violence.
I want the best environment for you,one that will expose you and help you explore all you potential

As I wrote down this thoughts,I hadn't met your mum,I was still in campus,but I made a promise to get you the best mum in this world,who will cherish and nurture to make you all that you were meant to be in this life.I know you  wonder why it took so long for you to come to this world but all this was for your benefit.We have been planning for your life.

Wait For Me Dear.

I felt like it's the end of the road for me,I lay on the ground watching the sky.'I can't wait any more'.A thought crossed.The pressure for pleasure is immense.'After all she could be the one'. Another thought.I wasn't ready for another confused quiet moments and so I choose to try something different as a relaxer.I pick a book by Kay Arthur,'With an Everlasting Love',It's just what I need at such a time.Perfect.

Christianna is a young Lady who is betrothed to Joshua,a man whom she has never met but sent his betrothal request via his servant.Because of the word that run across the entire nation of  Joshua's influence and power she couldn't resist but wait patiently.Joshua is said to be the most loved son of the king and every lady and their parents could have wished their daughters be married by him.His Love for her was unconditional...One day Chritianna met Cosmo who shows him material love,ever present for him,hugged her gently and finally overwhelmed by his romance she gives in and loses her precious fruit of purity.Cosmo then disappeared.


The trumpets started ringing.Christianna is remorseful,weeping and being haunted by her actions.She knows that it must be Joshua.Talk of fragrance and beauty that came along with Joshua,it's the most beautiful scene all those who gathered had ever seen.There came Joshua,indescribably handsome,..he entered the room to meet the bride,she was still weeping.The touch with his hands sent her shivering,it's the best feeling ever,She hated Cosmo and cursed him.Then Joshua gently opened the veil in her face,looked at her and said,'I love you Christianna,..if  only had you waited for me'.

Well, the story is an allegory of Christ,If only we can wait for him honestly adhering to his teachings and be guided by Holy Spirit rather than our flesh.
But,it got me thinking of our love relationships.We meet Cosmo who are the romantic,wealthy and great looking ladies and gentlemen of our times.All they are after is the short term pleasure of a moment then puff!,that is the last time you will hear from them,they leave us with scars.

If I seek in my heart daily to make a commitment of strength,hope and patience of not rushing for a now and then gratification,keep the best for Joshua,love them with all that I have even  before meeting them,plan for our future,pray for them...It sounds easy but practically it isn't, but it's possible.
When we meet, it will be a small heaven on earth.You were the ultimate reserve for me,and I was yours forever.When Joshua opens the veil he smile and say, "I Love you,thanks so much for waiting'...Elsewhere,the preacher,"You may now kiss the bride". Fireworks!

Gentlemen Need this...Ladies Require too.

Sometimes back the concept of tall,dark,rough and handsome was very popular among ladies,whereas the figure eight was the,'wa-wa-wa' among men.It was a narrow perspective towards hooking up with ones partner but times have changed.The celebrities were hailed and everyone wished they were their fiance',but we all know how their  lives are behind the scenes and we dread it.Men were the providers of the house,but we live in a world where your woman could be earning more than you and retrenchment is a common scenario.Emphasis on equality places us almost on the same level.

The enormous question is where has the focus shifted too?

Young informed people are no longer viewing life from a 1D perspective but rather,in fact,they are only limited by 3D,they could dissect their partners to-be even further.When we realize that life has more than what we can see and feel,we get critical and approach it from a  wider angle.The earlier we realize this the better.

So what are we supposed to be looking for(both Ladies and gentlemen) from our partners.

1.Mental Maturity.
Nobody want to stay with a person who is just  'yes-yes '..but can question my thought in a reasonable way,so as we can have leverage and synergy.Whenever we stay,even in normal interactions,with people who are just accepting what we offer,what value is being added to you and you already know what you are telling them?. They should be able to critically and analytically think and come up with solutions to problems.Simply because everyone is doing it does not mean is right,it may not apply to our situation.Let's expand our thinking capacity so as we can be of help to our partners,a popular theory suggests that on average most human being use 3-10% of their brain,this is a serious joke,I wonder what the rest we keep like inventory,is for.

2.Spiritual Maturity
Human beings are spiritual beings in human form,and therefore if the spiritual person is not there there is danger of having a numb or dead conscience.Hope no one will complain of irresponsible drinking if you met your partner in a bar or complain of adultery if you one in a multiple of concurrent relationship they were having and you were aware,The  spiritual well being is key to sustain a healthy relationship.

3.Financial Maturity
I'm sure bills will not be paid with hugs and kisses and therefore it calls for stretching our muscle to earn extra coin to sustain a decent lifestyle.

4.Emotional Maturity.
Emotional maturity is when a person has come of age in their feelings. They do not let their emotions run away with them. They can process things that happen in life, deal with them and go on. They are level headed and do not make rash decisions.

5. Social Maturity
This is being able to relate healthily with others and not just being individualistic and living in an island of our own.It's opening up our mind to learn from others too while we choose what to accommodate or disassociate with in a nice and reasonable manner.

6.Physical Maturity.
This is the least in my opinion,..this is where the tall,dark,rough and handsome falls,..the, 'wa-wa-wa' lady is.It's usually very weird for one to be 6-pack,advanced in age,physically beautiful but when they open their mouth you wish they had kept quiet.It's crucial to be physically attractive but it should not be hailed over the other key maturities that matter most since beauty easily fades.

Spoilt For Choice.

It was in a bash cum sleep over... after each person spoke anyone was free to make a compliment or ask a question regarding the way you know that person.Here I was making very genuine compliments.Apparently,it turned out that I was commenting after almost everyone...It had also happened that I was the first to introduce myself.In your introduction,you were to say something about your 'social development',I mean,'The Kabete question'...I mean Single or otherwise.And so I'm yet to crack the code.
'Rutinu is spoilt for choice,Please settle.Everyone is pretty until he ends up complimenting all the ladies!',one dude commented,the entire room burst out with laughter.

In another occasion someone warned me not to look at ladies with,'such kind of eyes',What!,I'm contemplating of acquiring glasses."Not everyone will understand that's the way you are,like I do,you will hear stories",The person reiterated.



This got me thinking.It made me analyze my actions,motive and the way forward.
I came to realize that the unconscious effects of not having cracked the code can be detrimental.(I want someone to confirm this).You  see a lady and thinking could she be the one (I know I'm speaking for many quiet dudes out there who haven't cracked).

You invite them for lunch,supper,breakfast,walks....without showing any intention as a way of analyzing them and when she turns out you live in two different planets you even don't tell them anything.You will be Hae-ing them when you meet on the streets.

One day,we (I'm acting as a self appointed spokesperson of all those dudes who believe in not making haste decisions) will settle,cherish my love like the world is ending tonight.Stop watching Yankee Zulu,Chipukizi and Kimondio we be watching 'cool stuff' together the likes of Brief Encounter,Casablanca,..stop shouting in the hostels but remain calm and collected,wuuii...and all those junks.I bet I'll change a lot.

Relax good people.We will love one-off, and everything else will turn out to be an outlier.

It's You I Want.

I'm no longer in abyss,but, standing amidst peace of mind and a dream come true.

#That we can sit together and listen to the same tune of music the likes of  Reuben Kigame,Emachichi,Don Moen, Michael W. Smith,Casting Crowns,Francesca Ballisteli, Brandon Hearthon,Tenth Avenue North,Jim Reeves....

#That I can bounce at your place and find you watching:Family Tv,God Tv,Sauti ya Rehema,Discovery Channel,National Geographic,Supersport or listening to:Hope Fm,Truth Fm,Radio 316...

#Always keeping each other on check on our spiritual warfare.

#Thinking together on how we can create God-friendly environment for all with the resources we'll be endowed with.

#That you know what is to be decent in every aspect of it;dressing,talking...

#That even in absentia I'll be at peace,just like you'll be,,knowing,we still trust each other.

#That for hangouts it will not be clubbing n like.

#That it's not the external but the internal;character,personality...We  have the potential to amass all the material things we want but let that not be our starting point.

#....


A day never passes without thinking about you,I've never met you or maybe I could.This ain't  checklist but only a wish,I understand your world may not be my world but then some convergence will always help when things are between a rock and  a hard place.

The physical eyes will lie to us but let the inner eyes n ears be wide open.

Be nice,be patient,be good it will come to happen.

Modern Fresher

Every new Experience brings out our naivety but a good learning opportunity.

Therefore it sounds a good idea to try out new things and be adventurous but all this should be calculated and repercussions should firmly be held in our minds, otherwise…

I remember how grateful I was, to one Susan, for helping me carry my luggage from admission offices to my hostel room in my first day in campus. She told me how good campus life can be, but still how nasty it is for reckless fellows…I heeded and reaped. I made a commitment to myself that I will orient first years when they come, share with them what they expect in their new life being the base of what they want to do their entire life. I did that, hope someone benefited.

But I was perplexed to share with a friend about her first semester in campus and she confessed how they were ‘life changing’:

v  Fresher’s Night

Guys got drank and everything she saw, sorry to mention, can only be seen in a hardcore movie

v  My Best Friend

Her best friend brought her a juice, she drowsed, and when she woke up she was in hands of a man, having been ‘treated’

v  Modern Perspective

A 21yrs old Lady’s logic of not being faithful to one partner, abstaining or using a condom is that even if she gets HIV, she can live with it for more than 25yrs and by the time she is 45,She will have been bored by life and ready to die.

v  Pressure to conform

Her dressing code changed to that which is acceptable to the campus and has swag.

v  Curiosity

Having never tasted alcohol she did that for the first time

…Truly ‘adventurous’

This got me thinking deeply, n you what, I’m yet to come to terms with this.

Email:samac41@gmail.com