Love Was The Only Mistake.

They met in one of the most improbable places that can nurture emotional jitters.

But slowly they become close and close. I mean very close for one to call them friends was an understatement. They could feel their emotional indirect investment growing and the need for diversifying the portfolio of relating too was becoming eminent.

The dude paused,contemplated about the plans he had in  mind, the beauty and the dangers that lay ahead.His logic went like this;Bearing in mind I’m not looking for a lady to just have fun with but a life time partner,wants to settle in probably in the next five years, will I not be lying to commit?…He also had a spirit of adventure and loves to travel and as I know him, he can settle anywhere on this planet,settle with anyone as long as they share the same values system(but biased to Asians and Europeans).

The lady was irresistibly beautiful(physically,spiritually),socially okay,financially she has massive potential,mentally at her age she was good and looking for a  challenge.The only problem was  that emotionally she was ugly and needed plastic surgery or make up.

Whatever one can call it,Love/Infatuation/Lust is funny and confusing.The Lady was completely submerged into Museikuna’s way of life She loved with her all, felt accomplished,threatened how life is turning to be useless,’When I love it hurts,when I fail to love it hurts too’,she said.

Now the quagmire began, the two perceive love and care from  opposite direction.

One party is glad to have to have a sister and a friend while the other party is joyous to have a friend and a more than a friend.An equilibrium had to be reached.

It was a cool breezed afternoon,having been tired of their state they decided to work things out.It was a win-win situation,with no heart aches they decided to be best of friends without attaching or committing strings to each other.They are now free to make any decision pertaining their relationship life.

I wish them well and congratulate them.

At times we find ourselves in such a crisis-cross, maybe the people we want to be in our lives are not ready,are not interested with our request,are not sure if they really want us in their lives,are interested but interested more in others than us,have duo interests…and all manner of confusion.Kenny Rogers in his gambler song says:..You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run... knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep..

This demands wisdom and discernment there are life issues we should not fable around with.

Find,Pursue & Live It

Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up.It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be eaten.Every morning in Africa a lion wakes up too.It knows that it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle,when the sun comes up you'd better be running-Wale Akinyemi.

I've always admired people who found their callings and passions early in life.I've searched and keep on searching that thing that will give me immense satisfaction whether it is earning for me money or not.I know money motivates but I believe there are other ways one can make money while pursuing what one loves most.It beats me for people to live unhappily in a job you don't love in the name of I have bills to pay.
I've decided to suffer for my passions.All I want is peace of mind,contentment and joy.

I shared with a friend of how if one finds it fun and satisfying to be with kids why should they not give it a trial of working in an environment which has kids.I can only imagine what would have happened if Messi was using his legs to roam around in offices as an accountant.I can only Imagine what would Reuben Kigame be doing with his voice if not singing.I can only imagine what would  a passionate primary school teacher be doing if not teaching,what of PLO Lumumba, Martin Luther Kings Jnr,...What of you and me,if we shall be doing........ and not.........

All we need to do is find,pursue and live it.
Allison Ottawa identifies several things that can hint direction of one calling:
-Dreams and signs:The subconscious mind can be used to direct direction.
-Prioritize in expressing yourself in whatever you find enjoyable.
-Think about what you used to love when you were a kid
-Pay attention to what keeps coming.
-Shake up your routine and try out things.

It 's worth noting too that  we should be conscious of the things we naturally do without struggling(talents) and the people we admire.Also forget not to PRAY so as the passions are aligned with the Creator's will.
And as the lion and gazelle run,they run in the direction their instincts guide them.We also need to be on the move,but in the right direction of course.
Find ,Pursue & Live thy Purpose.

Letter 4 to My Child; On Passion.

I reaped big after KCSE results were out.
With a chance to join campus I was more than jubilated.With so many uncertainty,fear of unknown and ignorance,the selection of course was a toll order for me.Being torn between Health,Business,Psychology and Engineering courses but somehow I found myself in Business.

I was glad because the concept of entrepreneurship has been a niche for my heart and the mention of  a hospital or sight of blood makes me sick,matters could have been worse if I was to work there though I could have adapted any way.But,I feel the forgone alternatives will in some way manifest themselves either in business,friends or life partner.

The best thing that happened to me is joining Campus.It's here that I've come to appreciate there are smarter guys than you,gathered confidence to face life,realized that majority are not always right, that one has to stand for what they believe is right,grown spiritually,..
I mean I heard,touched,saw,smelt,tasted,imagined all the good things of life with caution of course not to get myself in a ditch.

Son,I'm sure  by now you know what you want in life.I'm glad you realized your passions earlier than me,it will help you avoid lots of guess work.Pursue them to the end,the talent you have is a great tool of sustenance.There is no standard as to how you may live but I would advocate ascribe to the Biblical code it will make you avoid confusion

Learn from all the sources not only from your lecturers but also from the talks and seminars held in campus(I've attended over 95% of all the talks that happened here). Don't study for your exams like some of your friends gather knowledge that can push you to higher life heights(try get an Upper Division,it's safer there when all go haywire),network,visit places,get a mentor,have fun,be adventurous,take risks,listen more,...This is your most critical moment,I can guarantee,you will miss it.Elsewhere in my final year of studies I developed immense passion for writing,entrepreneurship,acting,adventuring,IT..I guess you can now trace where your dad is like so.

Finally Son,your life has taken off at your age,I may not have much control of the choices you make.I apologize if I failed you as a Dad but learn from my mistakes.Just make me proud .I know later in life you will be a Dad like me,give the best to your Son too,I'll be a happy grandpa.
I'll always love you,never let your mum cry over you at any single moment.Give her peace.

Go live your life son Daddy loves you.

Dunga Thoughts:I Appreciate Your Beauty,but...

Earphones are on.I'm scrolling through the playlist to get a song that suits the mood.I settle on Instrumentals and I start with one of my favourite,Vangelis-Chariots of Fire followed by Guantenamera, Friends of Wind by Demis Roussos, Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika(South African National Anthem).In the list too are songs by Casting Crowns,Reuben Kigame and Dustin Kenstrue.I press play and let the beats and lyrics start to sink.

It's 11 a.m,it's an awkward time to be seated on a Dunga,this are campus benches outside hostels,also known as Jobless Corner as one is seen to be 'lazy'.For me dunga should be referred as an 'eagles eye zone',when alone one can get into deep thoughts together with another,almost similar site,the centre of rugby's pitch.They gave a space  to relax and thinking through life in 3D.I'm just from Project Management class and lecturer's remarks are still live,'...the world is hostile,corruption is massive and played smart the only ones we hear in public is where there are differences when they are sharing out...Nobody thinks about you,they only want to use you to accomplish they selfish life goals...'

With only two months left to be through with studies,the thoughts of where to reside,business,job recruitment s,MRP pressure coupled with the hard facts of the end of an ideal life offered in campus,the laughter,the friendliness are tough pills to come to terms with.

...Phew!,my thoughts are diverted when some ladies pass by,talk of beauty and looks,Wa!(NB;I'm appreciating credit where is due,ha).They are blessed as we like to put it and this reminded me of how this campus is endowed with beauty and Nairobi at large and the World at whole any way.But then,human beings are meant to be with one and there is only one for you,why make a hasty choice?.

When we were in class 8 probably we were 'seeing potentials'  but we smiled or even got caned for our ignorance.It re-occurred in high school we went out for conferences and contests.The same is happening in campus where one could be spotting in readiness for 'transfer window'.How sure are we once we have left this place, 'out there' there will be no Princesses and Princes.

Life is transitions and seasons.The perception we have now towards what's good for us now might change with time but since you had committed,there is not much to do apart from holding on.Let's not make a decision that we only vumilia instead of kujivunia 10/20/50yrs from now.It's a 'roko' mentality(As XN Iraki puts it ) to think the Queen or King can only be found in your campus,county or even country.

For those of who are lucky and have made up their minds I salute them.For those who have 'ish ish',take you time.I bet May's rent and bills will not be paid with hugs and kisses.

(....here comes my friends and the story and thoughts will  change to how Manchester is useless,how Arsenal is no longer the weapon,how Liverpool has been walking alone,...Champions League,Brazil world Cup...)
I should catch up with you later.Get yourself a sit at the nearest Dunga and reflect.

Letter 3 to My Child; On Choices

When I joined Form 1,it was a completely new world for me.Pressure was mounting from all over,hormones were driving me crazy..Got to learn some of this 'skills' as the peers were putting it.
The teachers and parents seemed to be in the old generation and true times have changed but wrong  remained to be wrong no matter how we try to pomp or pimp it.
It wasn't a safe ride especially in my final year where things were almost getting out of hand.

With lots of confusion there are decisions I made that changed my course of life:

-Listening more to teachers and less of my peers.
I didn't have to re invent the wheel to know that something is wrong,especially with moral matters I just tore the line.

-Having a close  friend whom you can share with.
Nguma is the one,I recall us walking home one day and we were vowing by the tarmac road,that we have to go the university regardless of what may come our way.We assisted each other mostly in academics,it's no wonder even after results you could have told the two us had stood out.

-Basing all my actions and beliefs from the bible.If it said don't,I didn't.

-Avoid/Relate with the opposite sex cautiously.
Emotions are running hot they will disorient you.

Son,this will not only help you in school even life after school the principles still apply.
Don't forget the earlier lessons I taught you some years back.

Letter 2 to My Child; On Education

Son,I thank God for the progress you are making,Just the other day you were a toddler!
It's time for you to learn the world while your mum and dad are absent,it's time for school.
I know you will initially hate us for this,but,as time goes by you will appreciate.
This takes me back of the first day I was 'disposed' to an environment that meant separation from my Mama,I cried and tried running away from school to go back to home,any time I did this,I'd be slapped and taken back.
Not that we hate you but we want the best for you.

School is where men are made from boys.Things will change here, you will meet a teacher who is not like your mum,she will beat you up once you make mistakes.You will meet other boys and girls who are not like your cousins,they will be malicious,they will act weirdly,others will laugh at you because of funny reasons but you know what Daddy loves you,the rest doesn't matter.

The education system in this country is not the best but I want you to be ahead of the pack by making you think without the box.Read for the exams and get good grades they will open doors to higher levels of education and exposure but  never forsake the power of your talents.Our brains are wired to acquire massive information,solve problems,do everything that you have always admired around...unfortunately we only use 10% of it!I want you to explore and live your life son...
The Music you listen,the tablet you use,the movies you watch,the vehicle you see,the soccer you watch,the speeches you listen......are all as a result of following a certain passion.Identify it,tell me and we will nurture it.

Son all we want you to get from us is happiness and peace of mind,you don't have to exist in life,live it to the fullest not forgetting our Creator.

Samburu Was Life a Changer.

Saturday Jan 11,2014.
I wasn't sure why I the willingness to go was slowly diminishing,but I said I have to go.At 4 a.m I was up and preparing to board,sleepy I was,bearing in mind we've been from a prayer kesha to pray for the mission.
Off to a land unknown to us.The journey was adventurous as expected filled with natural sceneries till Nyahururu.We changed our vehicles and after a short distance in tarmac road,we entered the rough road,what astonished me is the high speed we were travelling with and the masterly of the road by the driver.At the same time some Samburu's had boarded the same vehicle,all the women had children.I can see the level of illeteracy when the conductor had to explain why the change he was giving was so.All the same we arrived safely at our destination at night around 7:30 pm.
Did I tell you that I had an awesome company along the journey of one blessed,pretty lady,well...

Sunday Jan 12,2014
Woke up at 6am,had been assigned previous churches to attend the service,went to one PCEA Goperian(Gops Kenya,as it was later renamed by one of us).The service was short,the dances were eminently traditional,but the most striking thing is that almost all the ladies can sing,they are blessed with voices.In the afternoon was an open air.
Today,I also met one George who turns out to be a friend and amuses me by telling me,the cost of a plot of land in a town called Loosuk is ksh.7300 payable to the County Government of Samburu,they come with surveyors and erect beacons!

Monday Jan 13,2014
From now onwards waking up was 5 am,and attending the morning devotion.After which we take breakfast pray and leave for door to door.But before we leave I identify a perfect place I used to relax and welcome the sunshine,bearing in minds the nights are freezing cold.The door was an awesome one,but it turns out that we needed a translator in every homestead.We prayed to people,they made commitment to follow Christ,it was rewarding.

Tuesday Jan 14,2013
In the morning in my QT(Quiet time) Zone,where I used to bask for some minutes,one missioner came we talked for some minutes...the rest is a loooooong story.We went for door to door at Loisukutan,had a chance of meeting  Janani&Paul(who again turn to be my friends),Solomon,who explains about the valley from which cattle rustlers from Pokomo used to raid,about an awesome place called Malaso...and in the afternoon,we had an open air under a tree at the same place.Since the journey were becoming longer each day,the phrase,"hapa tu,karibu na booster"(there was a booster at the centre we were residing) turns to be common...To and fro I had a great company emanating from the QT zone...I also loved the Samburu's view,and for the first time the thought of a holiday home at this place crosses my mind.

Wednesday Jan 15 2014
Well,I can't recall the name of the place we went for door to door and open air,all I could say,it's the day that most people gave their life to Christ from the door to door,but on going to the open air the place had resistant.
But for the first time I saw a man baby sitting his kids,that was a taboo like,but gentlemanly.

Thursday Jan 16 2014
Five of us went,"hapa tu karibu na booster", at chief's place where people had been gathered.I've never been emotional like today seeing how people are troubled by sicknesses and other different emotional and cultural issues...I can't forget the fresh and mala milk we took,a great company of one Peter.I can also confirm that samburu ladies especially those that are informed and learned are beautiful,Asha confimed that.Also,Samburu grannies are humorous.

Friday Jan 17 2014
I can't believe our days in Samburu are coming to an end,I'll really miss this place and the people too.
Having interacted with some, learnt their language,preached the Gospel,I felt accomplished.
Today the activities are door to door,open air and revival.

Saturday Jan 18 2014
I can't believe I heard my name yesterday evening to be in the kitchen,the last day..no,no,no...but  I have no option but to cook,It was a hectic day for me...In the morning after having breakfast,there was introductions and sharing of our experiences,and the question"kama umeonekaniwa samburu"(If you have been blessed with a partner while in Samburu)...wa,this question eeeh,.anyway but I made good friends from there,and who knows,Samburu could be where blessing were for me..
I'd also wish to apologise on behalf of the team we were cooking with for making Pilau that had not been fully cooked,Mwanaharusi is in better position to explain this,hehe..
I also wished I was at the open air this day,I could have been with an interpreter but this time round to inter prate my rich samburu language to my fellow missioners

Sunday Jan 19 2014
Having not slept the entire night,we are boarding our vehicle to Nyahururu at 0400hrs,..well,I rarely sleep while the vehicle is moving,it was my moment of reflecting.
I remembered:the souls that gave their life to christ,the miracle that happened to a boy who had no hope of studies,the Samburu friends I met and interacted with,the light moments we had with fellow missioners,my QT Zone,the welcoming nature of Samburu,the hot sun that had now darkened our skins,the passport showers coz of water shortage,the daily goats we ate,the vast flat lands that gave a superb scenaries...I remembered so much,I cherished the memories,I will always hold you dearly in my heart

     
            Kasham oleng' Samburu.Natemaiyan Enkai.