Who Is Your Friend?

                                                        Photo credit: Pinterest.
I listened to one Tom Makale,the CEO ,Unique Loos give his speech at (Business Entrepreneurship & Innovation ( BEI) conference at UoN,School of Business,I liked.He was drilling us to start thinking critically about life rather than the shadow perspective of life.

....One of the issues he brought out clearly are the people we need to connect ourselves with.We should connect with people who;
1.Are goal-oriented
This entails looking at how realistic and futuristic one is. Also looking at what they are doing now and assessing the course of their lives.They live a purpose driven life.Planning their lives carefully.

2.Bring the best in you
They are not jealous or dwell on the negative side of you but they show us we are equal top the task.They let our talents,abilities and skills sprout.Make us stand out

3.Support us
Not all the times things go well on our side.We need a shoulder to lean on and a helping hand.True connections always stand by our side in tough times.

4.Correct us.
When we go wrong,they don't just keep quiet or just take it lightly.They reprimand us in a gentle way.

5.Challenge us
If you are the best among the people close to you,there is a big reason to worry,you will never grow!
We should associate with people who are wise,adventurous and passionate of what they do.

6.Have Faith in God
If one doesn't believe in a super natural being,the creator of all.They are too full of themselves,that's danger in waiting keep them off your life.They should share the same value system with us.

Now,the  connections we have turn out to be our friends and as Rim John said:'We  are the average of the five people we spend most time with'.Very true,I don't see how one can join Barcelona and play long pass balls,reason being on average every player is doing the short tic-tac passes,total football.
Our network too becomes our net worth.

Random Thoughts I

• Harness Creativity

             -Look for unexpected Realities-Break the routine
             -Let the Mind wander by doing something undemanding.

• "Whatever that is chasing you determines the speed you will learnt at"-Unknown

• Prayers have the power to: Humble us,Work miracles,Get rid of carnal mind,Make our lives clear.

• ''Umuntu ngumutu ngabantu"-I am because you are,because we are.

• Small things done consistently have immense power.

• Everything that you are enjoying someone thought of it and made money from it.What are you thinking?

• Think what you can do that is different from everyone else. 

• Your Idea may not make sense to anyone else apart from you.

Love Was The Only Mistake.

They met in one of the most improbable places that can nurture emotional jitters.

But slowly they become close and close. I mean very close for one to call them friends was an understatement. They could feel their emotional indirect investment growing and the need for diversifying the portfolio of relating too was becoming eminent.

The dude paused,contemplated about the plans he had in  mind, the beauty and the dangers that lay ahead.His logic went like this;Bearing in mind I’m not looking for a lady to just have fun with but a life time partner,wants to settle in probably in the next five years, will I not be lying to commit?…He also had a spirit of adventure and loves to travel and as I know him, he can settle anywhere on this planet,settle with anyone as long as they share the same values system(but biased to Asians and Europeans).

The lady was irresistibly beautiful(physically,spiritually),socially okay,financially she has massive potential,mentally at her age she was good and looking for a  challenge.The only problem was  that emotionally she was ugly and needed plastic surgery or make up.

Whatever one can call it,Love/Infatuation/Lust is funny and confusing.The Lady was completely submerged into Museikuna’s way of life She loved with her all, felt accomplished,threatened how life is turning to be useless,’When I love it hurts,when I fail to love it hurts too’,she said.

Now the quagmire began, the two perceive love and care from  opposite direction.

One party is glad to have to have a sister and a friend while the other party is joyous to have a friend and a more than a friend.An equilibrium had to be reached.

It was a cool breezed afternoon,having been tired of their state they decided to work things out.It was a win-win situation,with no heart aches they decided to be best of friends without attaching or committing strings to each other.They are now free to make any decision pertaining their relationship life.

I wish them well and congratulate them.

At times we find ourselves in such a crisis-cross, maybe the people we want to be in our lives are not ready,are not interested with our request,are not sure if they really want us in their lives,are interested but interested more in others than us,have duo interests…and all manner of confusion.Kenny Rogers in his gambler song says:..You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run... knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep..

This demands wisdom and discernment there are life issues we should not fable around with.

Find,Pursue & Live It

Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up.It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be eaten.Every morning in Africa a lion wakes up too.It knows that it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle,when the sun comes up you'd better be running-Wale Akinyemi.

I've always admired people who found their callings and passions early in life.I've searched and keep on searching that thing that will give me immense satisfaction whether it is earning for me money or not.I know money motivates but I believe there are other ways one can make money while pursuing what one loves most.It beats me for people to live unhappily in a job you don't love in the name of I have bills to pay.
I've decided to suffer for my passions.All I want is peace of mind,contentment and joy.

I shared with a friend of how if one finds it fun and satisfying to be with kids why should they not give it a trial of working in an environment which has kids.I can only imagine what would have happened if Messi was using his legs to roam around in offices as an accountant.I can only Imagine what would Reuben Kigame be doing with his voice if not singing.I can only imagine what would  a passionate primary school teacher be doing if not teaching,what of PLO Lumumba, Martin Luther Kings Jnr,...What of you and me,if we shall be doing........ and not.........

All we need to do is find,pursue and live it.
Allison Ottawa identifies several things that can hint direction of one calling:
-Dreams and signs:The subconscious mind can be used to direct direction.
-Prioritize in expressing yourself in whatever you find enjoyable.
-Think about what you used to love when you were a kid
-Pay attention to what keeps coming.
-Shake up your routine and try out things.

It 's worth noting too that  we should be conscious of the things we naturally do without struggling(talents) and the people we admire.Also forget not to PRAY so as the passions are aligned with the Creator's will.
And as the lion and gazelle run,they run in the direction their instincts guide them.We also need to be on the move,but in the right direction of course.
Find ,Pursue & Live thy Purpose.

Letter 4 to My Child; On Passion.

I reaped big after KCSE results were out.
With a chance to join campus I was more than jubilated.With so many uncertainty,fear of unknown and ignorance,the selection of course was a toll order for me.Being torn between Health,Business,Psychology and Engineering courses but somehow I found myself in Business.

I was glad because the concept of entrepreneurship has been a niche for my heart and the mention of  a hospital or sight of blood makes me sick,matters could have been worse if I was to work there though I could have adapted any way.But,I feel the forgone alternatives will in some way manifest themselves either in business,friends or life partner.

The best thing that happened to me is joining Campus.It's here that I've come to appreciate there are smarter guys than you,gathered confidence to face life,realized that majority are not always right, that one has to stand for what they believe is right,grown spiritually,..
I mean I heard,touched,saw,smelt,tasted,imagined all the good things of life with caution of course not to get myself in a ditch.

Son,I'm sure  by now you know what you want in life.I'm glad you realized your passions earlier than me,it will help you avoid lots of guess work.Pursue them to the end,the talent you have is a great tool of sustenance.There is no standard as to how you may live but I would advocate ascribe to the Biblical code it will make you avoid confusion

Learn from all the sources not only from your lecturers but also from the talks and seminars held in campus(I've attended over 95% of all the talks that happened here). Don't study for your exams like some of your friends gather knowledge that can push you to higher life heights(try get an Upper Division,it's safer there when all go haywire),network,visit places,get a mentor,have fun,be adventurous,take risks,listen more,...This is your most critical moment,I can guarantee,you will miss it.Elsewhere in my final year of studies I developed immense passion for writing,entrepreneurship,acting,adventuring,IT..I guess you can now trace where your dad is like so.

Finally Son,your life has taken off at your age,I may not have much control of the choices you make.I apologize if I failed you as a Dad but learn from my mistakes.Just make me proud .I know later in life you will be a Dad like me,give the best to your Son too,I'll be a happy grandpa.
I'll always love you,never let your mum cry over you at any single moment.Give her peace.

Go live your life son Daddy loves you.

Dunga Thoughts:I Appreciate Your Beauty,but...

Earphones are on.I'm scrolling through the playlist to get a song that suits the mood.I settle on Instrumentals and I start with one of my favourite,Vangelis-Chariots of Fire followed by Guantenamera, Friends of Wind by Demis Roussos, Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika(South African National Anthem).In the list too are songs by Casting Crowns,Reuben Kigame and Dustin Kenstrue.I press play and let the beats and lyrics start to sink.

It's 11 a.m,it's an awkward time to be seated on a Dunga,this are campus benches outside hostels,also known as Jobless Corner as one is seen to be 'lazy'.For me dunga should be referred as an 'eagles eye zone',when alone one can get into deep thoughts together with another,almost similar site,the centre of rugby's pitch.They gave a space  to relax and thinking through life in 3D.I'm just from Project Management class and lecturer's remarks are still live,'...the world is hostile,corruption is massive and played smart the only ones we hear in public is where there are differences when they are sharing out...Nobody thinks about you,they only want to use you to accomplish they selfish life goals...'

With only two months left to be through with studies,the thoughts of where to reside,business,job recruitment s,MRP pressure coupled with the hard facts of the end of an ideal life offered in campus,the laughter,the friendliness are tough pills to come to terms with.

...Phew!,my thoughts are diverted when some ladies pass by,talk of beauty and looks,Wa!(NB;I'm appreciating credit where is due,ha).They are blessed as we like to put it and this reminded me of how this campus is endowed with beauty and Nairobi at large and the World at whole any way.But then,human beings are meant to be with one and there is only one for you,why make a hasty choice?.

When we were in class 8 probably we were 'seeing potentials'  but we smiled or even got caned for our ignorance.It re-occurred in high school we went out for conferences and contests.The same is happening in campus where one could be spotting in readiness for 'transfer window'.How sure are we once we have left this place, 'out there' there will be no Princesses and Princes.

Life is transitions and seasons.The perception we have now towards what's good for us now might change with time but since you had committed,there is not much to do apart from holding on.Let's not make a decision that we only vumilia instead of kujivunia 10/20/50yrs from now.It's a 'roko' mentality(As XN Iraki puts it ) to think the Queen or King can only be found in your campus,county or even country.

For those of who are lucky and have made up their minds I salute them.For those who have 'ish ish',take you time.I bet May's rent and bills will not be paid with hugs and kisses.

(....here comes my friends and the story and thoughts will  change to how Manchester is useless,how Arsenal is no longer the weapon,how Liverpool has been walking alone,...Champions League,Brazil world Cup...)
I should catch up with you later.Get yourself a sit at the nearest Dunga and reflect.

Letter 3 to My Child; On Choices

When I joined Form 1,it was a completely new world for me.Pressure was mounting from all over,hormones were driving me crazy..Got to learn some of this 'skills' as the peers were putting it.
The teachers and parents seemed to be in the old generation and true times have changed but wrong  remained to be wrong no matter how we try to pomp or pimp it.
It wasn't a safe ride especially in my final year where things were almost getting out of hand.

With lots of confusion there are decisions I made that changed my course of life:

-Listening more to teachers and less of my peers.
I didn't have to re invent the wheel to know that something is wrong,especially with moral matters I just tore the line.

-Having a close  friend whom you can share with.
Nguma is the one,I recall us walking home one day and we were vowing by the tarmac road,that we have to go the university regardless of what may come our way.We assisted each other mostly in academics,it's no wonder even after results you could have told the two us had stood out.

-Basing all my actions and beliefs from the bible.If it said don't,I didn't.

-Avoid/Relate with the opposite sex cautiously.
Emotions are running hot they will disorient you.

Son,this will not only help you in school even life after school the principles still apply.
Don't forget the earlier lessons I taught you some years back.